What to do when someone dies

If someone you love has just died, we are so sorry. This guide is here to help you take the next step, and then the one after that. You do not have to do everything at once, and you do not have to do it alone. Most tasks can wait longer than you think.

Read only the part you need today. Come back to the rest when you are ready.

In the first hours

Make the right first call

What you do first depends on where and how the person died.

• At home, and the death was unexpected: call 911. Emergency responders will come, and a medical professional or official will confirm the death.
• At home, with hospice care: call the hospice team, not 911. A nurse will usually come to confirm the death and can help you contact a funeral home.
• In a hospital, nursing home or care facility: the staff will confirm the death and guide you. They will ask which funeral home to contact. If you are not ready to choose, ask how much time you have.

Organ and tissue donation

If the person was a registered donor or told you they wanted to donate, tell the medical staff or hospice team right away. Timing matters for donation.

Take the time you need

Unless the death needs to be investigated, you can usually take some time to sit with the person and say goodbye. It is fine to ask for that time.

Tell the people closest to you

Call or visit close family first. Then ask one or two trusted friends to help share the news with others, so you do not have to repeat it again and again.

Care for those who depend on them

Make sure any children, adults in their care and pets are looked after.

In the first few days

Look for their wishes

Look for a will, a prepaid funeral contract, a letter of instruction or notes about what the person wanted. Check a home office, a safe, a filing cabinet and email. If you know they had an attorney, call the attorney’s office. A will usually names an executor, sometimes called a personal representative, who will be responsible for settling the estate later.

Choose a funeral home or cremation provider

You can compare providers, and you are allowed to take a little time to do it. Under a federal rule called the Funeral Rule, funeral providers must:

• Give you an itemized price list when you ask about arrangements in person.
• Give you price information over the phone if you ask.
• Let you choose only the goods and services you want, apart from anything required by law.
• Accept a casket you bought elsewhere, without charging you a fee to use it.
• Offer an alternative container if they provide direct cremation.

It is fine to say you need time to think, or to bring a friend who can ask practical questions for you.

Decide on the kind of service

Common choices are a traditional burial, a cremation, or a direct burial or cremation with a memorial service later. Some states also allow other options, such as natural burial. There is no right answer. What matters is what fits the person and your family.

Order certified death certificates

Banks, insurers, government agencies and others will ask for a certified copy of the death certificate. The funeral home usually files the death certificate and can order copies for you. Each copy has a fee set by the state. Many families find they need more copies than they expected, so ask the funeral home how many families usually order. Some institutions will return a certified copy after they review it if you ask.

Secure the home and belongings

Lock the home, keep valuables and important papers safe and collect the mail. Look after cars, plants and anything that needs regular care. Try not to give away belongings yet. The estate may need to account for them.

Tell their employer

If the person was working, contact their employer’s HR team. Ask about a final paycheck, unused paid time off, retirement accounts and any group life insurance.

Write an obituary, if you want to

An obituary is optional. If you would like to write one, our article on how to write an obituary walks you through it.

In the first weeks

Make sure Social Security knows

The funeral home usually reports the death to the Social Security Administration. Ask them to confirm. If they did not, call Social Security at 1-800-772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778).

A few things to know:

• A surviving spouse or child may qualify for a one-time death payment of $255 and for monthly survivor benefits.
• Social Security is not payable for the month in which a person dies. If a payment arrives for that month or later, it must be returned. Do not spend it.
• If the person had Medicare, Social Security will let Medicare know.

Contact other agencies and benefits

• Veterans: if the person served in the military, contact the Department of Veterans Affairs about burial benefits, a headstone or marker, and a burial flag.
• Pensions: contact any pension plan that paid the person a benefit, and ask about survivor benefits.
• Driver’s license and passport: you can ask for them to be canceled to reduce the risk of identity theft.

Start life insurance claims

Contact each insurance company and ask how to start a claim. Remember to check for group life insurance through an employer, accidental death coverage and coverage attached to a mortgage, loan or credit card. If you think there may be a policy you cannot find, the National Association of Insurance Commissioners offers a free Life Insurance Policy Locator.

Protect against identity theft

Unfortunately, the identities of people who have died are sometimes misused. Contact the three national credit bureaus, Equifax, Experian and TransUnion, and ask them to add a note that the person has died. Keep an eye on mail for new accounts or bills you do not recognize.

Keep the phone and email working for now

Do not rush to shut off the person’s phone or email. Many accounts send sign in codes by text or email, and you may need them. Plan to close these later, once other accounts are handled.

Keep good records

Start a simple log: the date, who you contacted, what they said and what they need from you. Keep every receipt for funeral and estate costs. It will make the months ahead much easier.

Documents you will likely need

Gathering these early saves many trips and phone calls. Keep originals safe and work from copies where you can.

• Certified copies of the death certificate.
• The will, and any trust documents.
• The person’s Social Security number, birth certificate and marriage certificate, if they were married.
• Military discharge papers, often called a DD 214, if they served.
• Recent bank and investment statements, and any pension or retirement plan statements.
• Life insurance policies, and details of any benefits through an employer.
• Property deeds, vehicle titles and mortgage or loan statements.
• The most recent tax return.
• A list of regular bills, subscriptions and online accounts.

You will not find everything at once. Start a folder, add to it as things turn up and note where each original is kept.

Who to notify, and when

This list looks long, but it spreads out over weeks. Share it with family so that each person takes a few.

• Right away: close family and friends, the person’s employer and anyone who depended on them for care.
• In the first week or two: Social Security, life insurance companies, the VA if they served and any pension provider.
• Once the executor has authority: banks, investment firms, credit card companies and lenders.
• When you are ready: utilities, phone and internet providers, subscriptions, the post office, professional licensing boards, clubs and places of worship.
• Anytime: the three credit bureaus, to reduce the risk of identity theft.

In the first months

Understand the estate

The estate is everything the person owned and owed when they died. The executor named in the will, or a person appointed by the court if there is no will, is responsible for settling it: finding assets, paying valid debts and passing on what is left.

Some estates go through probate, a court process that confirms the executor’s authority and oversees the estate. Others do not need it, because assets pass directly through joint ownership, a named beneficiary or a trust. Many states also have simpler procedures for small estates. Rules differ by state, so our article on understanding probate in plain English is a good next step, along with a conversation with a probate attorney.

Find assets and debts

Make a list of bank accounts, retirement accounts, investments, property, vehicles and valuables, and a list of debts such as a mortgage, loans and credit cards. Accounts with a named beneficiary, like many retirement accounts and life insurance policies, usually go directly to that person.

Debts are generally paid from the estate. Family members are usually not personally responsible for a person’s debts after they die, unless they co-signed, shared the account or a state law says otherwise. If a debt collector contacts you, you do not have to agree to pay from your own money. Ask for details in writing.

Close or transfer accounts

Once the executor has the authority to act, they can close or transfer bank accounts, utilities and subscriptions. Many companies have a bereavement team with a simple process. A short letter and a death certificate are often all you need.

Taxes

A final income tax return is usually due for the year the person died, and the estate may need to file its own return. A tax professional can tell you what applies.

Their belongings

There is no deadline for sorting through belongings, unless a home must be sold or a lease ended. Take your time with the things that carry memories. It can help to do it together.

Taking care of yourself

Grief is not a straight line. It can come in waves, show up in your body as tiredness or aches, and make simple tasks feel very hard. All of this is normal.

• Eat regular meals, drink water and rest when you can, even if sleep is difficult.
• Say yes when people offer to help. Give them a specific task, like picking up the mail or making calls.
• Children grieve too, often in short bursts. Answer their questions simply and truthfully.
• Grief support groups, faith communities and counselors can help. Many hospices offer bereavement support to families, sometimes for a year or more.

If you are thinking about harming yourself, or you are in crisis, in the US you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at any hour. In an emergency, call 911.

How Gracekeeps can help

Gracekeeps Loss Care turns this guide into a personal plan for your situation, with a care specialist to help you through each step. It includes a benefits finder, funeral cost planning, ready-to-send letters, an estate inventory and a private vault for every document. You can start for free, and many employers and insurers offer it at no cost.

This guide is general information for families in the United States. It is not legal, financial or medical advice, and rules differ by state and situation. For advice about your circumstances, talk with a licensed professional.